An Open Letter to the Single Woman

Dear Single Woman,

Now you are probably wondering, “Keith, you are engaged! What do you know about waiting to find someone?” That is a great question and if I’m being honest, I’m not going to act like I know how that feels, but I do know what it’s like to wait for something. 

I understand what it feels like to desire something so bad only for you not to attain it. Praying and seeking God. Asking Him to send or deliver it. Going through the emotional cycles of optimism and discouragement. Telling people how you feel, only for them to give you some advice about trusting the process and being patient. And it sounds good in theory but in reality, it’s tough to live out. 

Now specifically to your situation, it could be the countless hours spent on dating apps trying to find the “right” person for you. The process of going to church weekly, hoping your Boaz will be there this time and you two will magically meet. For some of you, it’s not the idea of dating a man but being with the right one. One who will cherish you, choose you, serve you, and love you. 

Another term I’ve been hearing the last five years is the “Edgy Christian Man.” The one who loves God but also likes to break the rules. I could go on and on with examples and analogies, but I want to speak specifically to you in your current season of singleness.

In the Bible, there is a story about a man named Abram and his wife, Sarai. Now, I’m sure you have heard this story a million times but there is a character that typically seems to get left out of this story and her name is Hagar. 

Hagar was a servant of Sarai and was commanded to sleep with Abram so that he could have a child since Sarai was infertile. In doing this, Hagar became pregnant and began to treat Sarai with contempt. This resulted in Sarai becoming very upset and treating Hagar so harshly that she ran away. 

You are probably thinking to yourself, “Keith, what does this have to do with the topic at hand?” Give me a second and I’ll tell you. In Genesis 16:7, it says the angel of the Lord found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness. When he found her, he told her to face her problem and that the Lord promised to give her more descendants than she could count. 

He then continued by saying that the Lord wanted Hagar to name her son, Ishmael, which means “God hears”. After the angel of the Lord left her, Hagar named the area where the well of spring water was, Beerlahairoi, which means, “well of the Living One who sees me.”

I want to provide you with some encouragement today by saying this, God sees you and hears you. Sometimes we get so fixated on our disappointments that we forget how much God loves us and how He is always there for us. Hagar experienced rejection and isolation, but was reminded that God was with her. 

In our lives, we experience these same feelings and emotions, but we must remember that God is for us. And like Hagar, God often uses our disappointments to get our attention so that he can deliver the encouragement we need for our present issue or circumstance. 

It wasn’t a coincidence that Hagar ran away and found herself beside a well of spring water. It says in Psalms 23:2, “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside the still waters.” Hagar thought she was running away but God was leading her to Him.

In this season of singleness, remember that God is in control. Where you are now, God has placed you there and He has a special message specifically for you. I wish I could tell you what that message is, but that is for you to discover in your time with God. 

Isaiah 40:31 says “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength, they will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and faint not.” 

In the King James Version, it says “they that wait” instead of “those that trust.” In this season of waiting, God wants you to trust Him more because it is during the wait to receive the promise that we will find the strength of God to trust the process. And this means trusting the process will lead to the promise. 

So I know this season is tough, but don’t give up on what you are believing God for and don’t settle for less than God’s best. Like I said, I know what it’s like to wait but I’ll continue to wait. God is with you and He is going to make sure you get exceeding and abundantly more than what you ask for.


Meet Hanha!

Hanha Parham is a Christian author and speaker. Her personal mission is to help woman overcome fear and self-doubt so that they can confidently believe who God has called them to be. She holds a Masters in Divinity with a concentration in pastoral counseling and is currently pursuing her PhD in Christian leadership. Hanha has published two books, Jesus is Bae and The Confessions Project and she is passionate about teaching, equipping, and discipling the body of Christ. When she is not encouraging others or writing her heart out, she loves spending time with loved ones or exploring new coffee shops. 

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  1. Miranda Lord says:

    So well said! Thank you so much for sharing.

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