Confessions from a Church Girl who isn’t a “Church Girl”

I am walking in the wisdom of God. (Psalm 111:10)

I choose to live for God and not conform to the ways of the world. (Romans 12:1-2)

The Word lives on the inside of me. Because it does, I find favor in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:3-4)

I am a woman of discipline and self-control. (Titus 2:11-12)

My faith does not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. (1 Corinthians 2:4-5)

My steps are ordered by God because I choose to trust Him and acknowledge Him in all that I do. (Proverbs 3:6)

The Word of God is my guide and keeps me from making wrong decisions and careless mistakes. (Psalm 119:105)

My worth is not determined by my perfection, but by His grace. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

I choose to chase after Godly things, knowing that chasing after vain things will bring me no good in the end. (1 Samuel 12:21)

My trust does not lie in the truth of man. My trust lies in God alone, who fights my battles for me. Therefore, I do not fear or worry about who is against me. (Deuteronomy 20:3-4)

Her Story

Truth is: I’m a Christian. A lot of people have different ideas of what that looks like and what that means. Some assume my faith makes me weak, naïve, and innocent; others assume that I grew up in a perfect home with perfect relationships and friendships.

The truth is, neither are true. I am not the typical “church girl” that is depicted in movies. And, the church girl image has, in some ways, created a false idea of what it means to be a Christian woman.

The truth is, I didn’t grow up in church. Not all my family is saved. Sex and alcohol were once my drug. Emptiness and loneliness were my two best friends. And God was once an enemy to me.

But after more personal disasters than I’d like to admit, I found Him (or should I say, He found little old me).

While I was living for the world, He chose to love me. And when He called me out of darkness, I chose to repent. And that’s why I am a Christian.

I don’t go to church simply out of tradition. I go to church because it’s a part of who I am. I don’t go to church just to “play the part,” it’s simply a part of my lifestyle in Christ. The life I live is evidence of how radically God changed me. And walking in that reality does not make me naïve or silly, as the world would love to make it seem. It makes me wise. It makes me…more like Him.

And I think that’s the primary difference between “church girls” and women of God. The church girl does things solely out of tradition. The woman of God is a leader and does things based on an encounter with God… A prompting from the Holy Spirit.

I serve God because He’s worth it. Not because I am perfect. Not because I am naive. But because when I was buried in sin and shame, He rescued me. I indulged in a wholeeee lot of worldly and disastrous (but fun) sin before I learned the value and beauty in serving Jesus.

I’m not innocent, I’m just a regular old gal who has made more mistakes than I’d like to admit and has experienced way more than I’d like to remember. But I am continually being redeemed, restored, and made new by the blood of the Lamb. Daily.

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And that’s the beauty of it all. I don’t have to be perfect to walk with Him. None of us do. I’ve made mistakes, but can still embrace His love. I understand (and have enjoyed) the fun ways of this world, and that’s what helps me embrace my life in Christ even more.

I know how broken I once was. And I know how much I needed (and still desperately need) God. And he came to me in the lowest times of my life and rocked my world!

And that’s why I don’t like the term “church girl.”

It seems to imply something that simply is not true about Christian women. And it tends to put all Christian women in a one-size-fits-all box that, frankly, is a box that only confines the extraordinary brilliance, power, and grace of who we are.

If you don’t know what I mean, then think about the movies you’ve seen about “church girls.”

You know the ones. The women are…

  • Naïve
  • Innocent
  • Clueless of the world around them
  • Unwise
  • Often backsliding or getting easily distracted from the things of God

When in reality, women of God are…

Walking in the wisdom of God (Psalm 111:10)

Aware of the ways of the world, but willingly choosing to follow Jesus (not out of naivety but out of choice) (Romans 12:1-2)

Disciplined and self-controlled (Titus 2:11-12)

Constantly allowing the Word to guide them from making wrong decisions and careless mistakes (Psalm 119:105)

100% imperfect, but covered and empowered by His grace (Ephesians 2:8-9)

So if I get called a church girl, I will answer with a delighted “thank you!” Because I embrace and am humbled by the fact that people can see Christ in my life.

But in my core, I know that the depth of what it means to be a Christian is one that cannot be understood through cinema depictions, but through a lifetime of seeking Him.

Learn more about Azani Fitten and follow her blog.

Her advice

  1. Stay focused on Jesus.
  2. Don’t be distracted by the beliefs and ways of the world.
  3. Remember who knows all. God is right, we are wrong.
  4. Pray and ask God to create a continual, burning fire in your heart for Him… A fire that can’t be quenched by the enemy, by darts of unbelief, or by the ways of the world. Ask God to make you hungry and thirsty for Him at all times.
  5. Ask God to give you a heart of compassion and urgency for intercession.

Her prayer

My prayer is that all women walk in the fullness of who God Has called them to be and truly form a relationship with Him. That women embrace who HE says we are – not what society says we are, and not what society says about who He says we are (make sense? J).

My prayer is that every woman — regardless of their background — whether white, black, Hispanic, Asian, short, tall, introverted, extroverted, or anything else — allows herself to be made whole by Him.

My prayer is that every woman has a genuine, undeniable encounter with the living God and be changed forever, as I have been.

My prayer is that Christian women unite with one cause: to glorify God in their lives, to build each other up, and to lead people closer to Jesus.

Learn more about Azani and subscribe to her blog here.

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Meet Hanha!

Hanha Parham is a Christian author and speaker. Her personal mission is to help woman overcome fear and self-doubt so that they can confidently believe who God has called them to be. She holds a Masters in Divinity with a concentration in pastoral counseling and is currently pursuing her PhD in Christian leadership. Hanha has published two books, Jesus is Bae and The Confessions Project and she is passionate about teaching, equipping, and discipling the body of Christ. When she is not encouraging others or writing her heart out, she loves spending time with loved ones or exploring new coffee shops. 

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